1. |
MONTARA (mantra)
00:54
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2. |
wrong turn / ryan's son
02:45
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I think i took a wrong turn, and every day another lesson that i won’t learn
i took a right and now the subtleties are all burned,
i blame the fire in my chest that i did not earn
filled with concern
baby this is all work,
from all the grief and depression that i wore first,
from niggas dying in my sight & blood on my shirt
i swear the feeling of a man only got worse
had me feeling like it’s planned god am I cursed?
had me stuck in the bed
on my mind was the dread
and from there the pain spread
can i take my life instead?
yeah you heard what i said.
nights long the venom from my feet to my head
vision blurred the only thing is see is all red
im concerned
the feeling that i kept has bled out
can’t look back if im behind i had too change the whole route
blood stains on the ground see the roses will sprout chasing happiness while the rest of em chasing the clout i lost my uncle in a blink of eye
hard to sleep but i try just give me a day and ill be right by his side
i am her son
i lost
god won
got love?
all done,
feelings
not one, not one.
momma she say that im blessed
don’t worry you cannot feel stressed
the moments will fade you’ll be fine but grief is a kick to the chest
i told her im losing my time too lazy to pick up the rest
i only confess in my rhymes I don’t need to speak it i guess.
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3. |
gone away (pt. 1)
02:12
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I feel away at ease
the moments got my bliss looking up at peace
i haven’t felt this way im stuck
release
they dropped me im the runner up in hairs like fleas
with bars a piece
they taught me how to grieve
the demons kept the guide and followed me into the trees
it’s like with every smile, a hundred frowns come beneath
it’s hard to keep a straight face
cluttered in between the tears and the beat
the words like the birds when i leave it’ll flee
the only time i felt powered up i feel free
can’t take me off the seat
the trauma steady singing like glee
im pinned on my knees
with every waking moment
every tear come in threes
I’m tryna keep the peace im trying
mama im flying
i’ve gone away
told my uncle nick that I can’t live another day
in all ways im sorry.
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4. |
delicate hands (pt. 2)
02:11
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uhh the niggas faking battles
only fighting with themselves
they seem to fail
them pussy niggas bouts crack up out they shell
these phony rappers all around me thinking that they doin sumn
wait till this album drop then pussy niggas losing sumn.
i grew up in 409 but i gave enough time
these niggas shady steady stealing my shine
crossing lines since 02
i been taking whats mines
immortalized
cuz god been leading me to see thru the signs.
all hail naz noc nigga king in the building
for the children
my self esteem done rose to the ceiling.
momma worried bout the kid but i ain’t promising nothing x2
yeah nigga stop frontin
i got the key in my hand
for the seas and the land
only seeing the peace that im reaching again
all I need is a friend
to keep a stronghold of my feelings
i been pushing all the wrong notes
off keying the band
ima leaf in the fan
kept a seed in my glance
for the leech of my skin
niggas fold
so i don’t really see a need for a kin.
niggas prayin to a fan
I got my head high
while my feet in the sand
with delicate hands.
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5. |
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krue:
straight up out the hyde as i emerge
born november 1st
an autumn baby till i hit the urn & skrt off in a hearse
ashes to ashes & to dirt i shall return
but i’m long gone
before i hit the curb to chase
what spirits yearn
waiting my turn
spreading love to cover hurt
recite a verse to hear my ego chirp
as to mimic the birds around me
surrounded by black but there’s no curse around me,
but i curse the hurt around it
approach the negatives to keep me grounded
preserving the positives for safe & sounded reasons
through my optics
if my brain allows it, weighing my options
and getting aligned with what’s allotted
and what’s alluding to a feeling that was one unusual
until the ink was blotted
secluded
solid
strapped up
& solituded
that ain’t a word, but i just say it just to keep it moving
landen don’t stop the music
the fat lady ain’t singing yet
this peace i hold to keep it ain’t bang like a street sweeper yet
it’s more like a swiffer jet
a sweep or jet
i motion with my wings with no deep regret
i run with a deep respect
i throw for a deeper threat
take cover or sleep with death
take cover the keep is back
took over to keep us back but im helping to lead the pack
why you think i chill with amadeus?
i know they need us back
we like the chiro i-
let me stay silent if you know like i know
ok ok i think i hear a high note
amadeus:
I feel the cold brewing in the nighttime
the moon is coming out from days that i been losing sunshine
can feel the drastic ways of aging secrets like it’s fine wine
im comfy but it’s crunch time,
to live a long life
I know success is in my bloodline
underneath the soil of the grapevine
heard that grief can sink into ya veins like it’s mainline
bouta face time
im looking right at the end of days
i think it’s soon to say that saving grace is a brick away
from niggas dying in the city streets & the alleyways
its life or death
& niggas praying to make believe
I count the steps
between my heart and deceiving dreams
it seem complex
to run it all or the way it seems
to pay respects
ill spill it all but get mad afraid to get Malcolm x’d
i raise a bar everytime I flex i get pushed afar
know who u are
i think signs’ll tell and that’ll kill us all
i dropped the ball and hells loose could only crawl
no plan for stopping my finger magic like roald dahl
the guard I keep is like dry wall
supposed to keep it pushing fire raging to snowfall.
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6. |
peace of mind (ruthless)
02:15
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they tell me death it leaves a bitter taste
only a block away holding down keeping faith
it’s only getting late
uncle told me keep it straight
i guess he left the day
crying smoking weed it’s laced
i’m in a better place
momma told me skies is grey
and that the sun’ll pay
if hope is just way to pray
i guess its nun to say
cuz tears fall into vigor each & every day
with each and every way
my thoughts radiate the room like an alpha ray
my feelings cast away
body swollen in the moment
find me in the bay
the punches got me praising allah
like im cassius clay
seem like im ready for combat
im midway
it’s foul play when im crashing thru the highway
cruising
losing
all help this time im foolish
worlds collide when dreams become lucid
words aligned till the smell becomes putrid
deeply rooted
vines become useless
grief is ruthless
loud heads get muted
mind polluted
I need a peace of mind let me break off a chunk
no need to float away if the bodies in the trunk
i need a piece of mind think im all outta luck
can’t ever move ahead if my brain is still stuck
i need a piece of mind
let me break off a chunk
the smell becomes a burden let me wipe off the funk
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7. |
devil in my seat
03:01
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devil in my seat
my brain is like a hand grenade
thats loaded every week
no need to tell the serenade
my bodies in the creek running circles in repeat
at ease
they seem to body my presence i leave em be
power pushing through the cushion of the crackas that eat
more than we can afford
losing bodies in streets
losing sleep
mind gone at the thought of the peace
never coming better get on ya feet and pay the lease
complacent thinking of the ways i can supply
think the stress is really slipping by surprise
my head rise
looking at stars in the sky
and realize blessings never coming In disguise
the same prize that these niggas chasing i abide
the lane change & niggas tend to leave without a bye
but i rise & conquer
knowing that im more without a cry
pain a monster
creeping up behind u like a spy
head a holster
thoughts can be a bullet to the thigh
life a boulder
holding till ya soul can fly high
where the spot at
i’m holding down my state like the bobcat
tell me where the top at
been a man since rugrats
heart thumping
nigga you try to aim I bust back
don’t ever try to test em where his luck at
the boy making noise while he begging for his life back
depression made me swerve
just to get me in the right track
im right back
how the hell u preaching the real
but when the money coming in
you seem to fade for a deal
how money works is real deceitful
niggas fates had been sealed
they tend to show you how to move when the industry kills
but god gave me tainted armor
think the blows haven’t healed
the bruises darken everytime
i seem to hide how it feels
i promise you I got it covered
no need to ever worry bout the gutter
cuz my mind is growing with my words i never stutter
devil in my seat
my brain is like a hand grenade
thats loaded every week
no need to tell the serenade
my bodies in the creek running circles in repeat
at ease
they seem to body my presence i leave em be
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8. |
a long day
02:12
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I’ve had a long day,
head is high to the sky but in the wrong way.
hope i meet the lord when i lost faith
I guess this is my place
staring at my peace but with a different face.
I’ll leave without a trace.
pastors hand touch my head said I’ll be ok,
& then my uncle died the lord done took him right away
but now my heart is grey.
left his kids looking at me like I took his place
the hidden disgrace
i hope the lord don’t fail me now
cuz he been distant
been tryna call that nigga for a bit
but he ain’t listening
been praying on my knees everyday been consistent
but demons take the wheel
and make the signal more resistant
passed right on by
im in the far side
with not a single tear to cry.
i lost em all when his body in that coffin
and we said our goodbyes
the only question i ever had for the lord was “why?”
everyday i think about the tears that came out her eyes
what did my momma do she ain’t deserve her brother to die
i think about it everyday
this shit I can’t even handle
in my room let the weed fill the room like a candle.
yeah 5 years later
im still standing up strong
but can’t forgive the man upstairs for treating my family wrong.
I was 15 before i even started 9th grade
the only person i look up to was just fading away.
they always tell me that u wanted him more.
but that’s the thing you see my uncle was the one i adore.
they said u set him free but im the one who’s locking the door
so fuck that extra talk im doing what’s been done before
so fuck you
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9. |
TRAUMA (interlude)
01:44
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10. |
breathe (heavy handed)
01:45
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my days numbered
heartfelts to uncomfort
praise to skies up above
to keep from falling under
my uncle told me aim straight for the clouds
I hope he proud
since he the first one headed there now
& all the times we sat playing all the games that you stole
never thought that losing you would take my mind its toll
i held my soul with firm grasp but it’s freezing it’s cold
but my love is worth more
cuz it’s made outta gold
held close
but that don’t mean they staying forever
I think I’ll finally understand that’s it all for the better
but maybe not
my thoughts flowing through the breeze
like a feather with stormy weather
through hell & back
ur love was the treasure
taught that diamonds only come with the pressure
but I’ll settle for lesser to bring my family back
it’s truly my pleasure
we live in 2 different worlds
but ill gamble for 1
since the only thing taking me is a hand with a gun
you wouldn’t want that
so here i am sleeping through the days
tryna get my cluttering mind up out this maze
the joy & pain of losing who u love is hard & strange
but my momma told me smile through the sunshine
& the rain so stay sane
your words are meant more to reach the stars
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11. |
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ripcarus:
danny, danny phantom
your soul is living on ransom
what’s meant to be isn’t random
you juggling with some tandem
phantom got you really slipping
leather interior whippin
but where ya soul at
i see ya dread on ya head like a skull cap
my third eye?
right where they put the hole at
learned to live life
you gotta hold back
pain like a knife
you gotta hold that
dice like spanish r’s
i gotta roll that
smoke to ease the pain
i tell ‘em roll that
girl like origami
i gotta fold that
my mischievous ways traced back to my easier days
when life wasn’t a question
then you buried the homie
taking it as a lesson.
amadeus:
my hands is breeding ways
just to start up the flames
stuck in a maze
you niggas better count up ya days
all the frail bitch niggas
think they bullets will graze
but i promise u they ain’t
so just get out my face
switching lanes
clutching the paint
far from a saint
for all the niggas that’ll try to stop me but can’t
niggas really think they up but raps lamer than paint drying
laugh in the paint
try to sell me i ain’t buying
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12. |
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i seen the life leave his eyes
the blood is on my hands
ain’t no need for baptizm
i don’t even need god
the grief has started sinking
the knot is getting loose for family ties
we separate with every tear
that falls between our eyes
& im alive but barely out here breathing
told myself that I would leave
before my baby nephew started teething
the thoughts I put away can seem misleading
& I’ll smile in your face but in my head I’m still bleeding
the noose around my neck is leaving marks of despair
with every other step i make
i never need a fucking prayer
since 2016 i seen my life go underwater
drowning sins as i please
won’t leave
my family behind
my momma told me ease it up
I told I’m her that I’ll be fine
nigga you know im lying
they sent my uncle off
without a letter or a notice
the message took me & off made my vision outta focus
told my mom I can’t breathe
i can’t see
I said please
why all of my demons just won’t leave
it’s been trapped in my brain since 03.
im 19 now and they putting me right to sleep.
i can’t handle all pressure of being the golden child
i ain’t what they think i am
my trauma is all piled
it’s a mental genocide
every thought I have is breaking
all my smiles set aside destruction in the making
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13. |
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if all else fails
then i will make change
every dollar well spent till these niggas turn strange
the needle in the vein
that feeling when u win it all then lose it all again
thinking life is a game
the needle in the haystack
im screaming at the lord for losing time i cant get back
I did it all before now having faith is what i lack
im tryna get a stack
and give my mom & dad a couple plaques
i take the power forward like im draymond
the feelings that i kept away is the bed that i lay on
but heavy is the head i made the deal like a coupon
i hate to be you
thinking if i get the bag then all my niggas get two
they face was red cuz the industry be giving the blues
so instead
i chose to plant my own seed and it grew
this for the niggas who been overseen or seeing it thru
you can keep the fame
nigga all my royalties full
and every dollar i make is going to my mothers rent
the pen and pads the only place that i could vent
im holding in the sins with the smoke of my spliffs
it’s hard to make amends i take the losses as a gift
hard & stale is the heart i chose to give
lost & frail was the life I chose to live
it’s hard to be a man nobody taught me to and if all else fails then I hope to god I’ll still have
only you
and only time can tell,
it’s time to shake the magic 8
or will I fall or prevail
a living hell
i got my 9 under the strap of my belt
ill wish em well holding sins under the depths of they wealth
signals crossed when im reaching to god
crucified
my feelings stuck between a park and a drive
dowlen drive was where spent my summer nights gettin high
but lately i been feeling like my urge is starting to die
i got my head screwed wrong thought to give it a try
i was shy i couldn’t write if it was saving my life
shit i only learned once like im riding the bike
the pain of losing who u love seems to come with a bite
im outta sight my interplanetary thoughts in a flight
i guess the only thing with grief is that it leaves you with might
I told my mama that im ready when they aim for a strike
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14. |
godspeeed!
02:25
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i see the truth you kept hidden in ya skin
it’s breaking off the bone holding trauma to the grin
told his momma
he was blessed with tractions of his sins
many losses and some wins
steady dragging on his limbs
he cold hearted treated every girl he met like the worst one
his momma told him he ain’t shit
but it ain’t hurt nun.
had his pride to his right like a cocked gun
was ready to shoot whenever niggas say sumn.
my brain is fried
taking tabs just to hide what i felt inside
i done lead my niggas wrong
I was needing a guide
grew up too fast with every tear that i cried.
cross faded
feeling hated
didn’t need the surprise
jaded niggas said they waited
but the bar is too high
was smoking spliffs until my mind in the skies
crashing down when i land
cutting all of my ties.
know im only doing this shit for me and my eyes
headstones,
mind frames to more shrooms
thoughts breaking everytime i ran from you
always smoke to ease the pain that’s my favorite feeling
but when it fades i tend to lose resilience
been a burden since i was crawling on carpet
a faucet
tears been broken from january to august
& them same niggas stabbing ya back to make a profit
u think u in yo bag when u really u outta pocket
godspeed
to my momma and my daddy
to my uncle and my sister and my brother and my granny to the ones to look above to the guard of my family x2
to all my niggas and the people looking at me
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15. |
golden (outro)
02:29
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16. |
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borrowed time
out of line
living too divine
kept the shrine lit my tool kit
losing all its shine
and so it seems
all the pressure growing out the seams
to sew it shut i know it’s harder getting stuck between
the hate & love of the body that u live within
a different end
when it’s hard to even find a friend
setting trends
too busy to even make amends
my back already bloody enough
more than my hands from every time that fought & i fuss
i always been knocked down
cuz my brain ain’t to tuff
taught soft cuz where im from man this shit can get rough
got niggas dropping my bars
when im calling they bluff
got u stuck
some niggas put up a front
the story goes
adios nigga pass me the blunt
and maybe so idk man im bleeding enough
i can’t the sudden stress to even deal with other stuff
man it’s hard to explain
all the thoughts that remain
in the back of head sometimes i had to refrain
then all the memories came and the feelings reframed
and i can’t look to nobody else I’m only to blame
many niggas losing theyselves
when chasing the fame
and you can’t even hate the player
cuz it’s lucifers game
all the mornings waking up
mind looser than flames.
and as my words start decay
i hope my mind stays the same
i won’t change
too many niggas loosened the chain
break the silence i release all the bottled up pain
i know my lane
the mary jane i light up is plain
gotta look for sunny days if u stuck in the rain
you know what im sayin
the clock tick faster as ya head goes backwards
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17. |
all right no left
02:05
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they said we here for a long while
cemented like tile
and as my soul is in the vessel
catch me cheesing with a smile
running miles
can’t seem swing my ass to glory
a different story
& blessings unto the stars that told me
can’t u see
the stones that be thrown turning to diamonds
while u been trying to hold your peace
when you surrounded by sirens
not rocket science but niggas is being frightened
getting licks in
but we ain’t tired of the fighting
in this climate new assignment
too much to say
im done being silent
time to expand my horizons
cuz a nigga is still shining
from the choices that i made
the feelings ive enslaved
had me pinning to my feet
and inside the locked the cage
moments turn to blessings
Faith done turned to questions
secrets turn to confessions
had to hold in my aggressions
had a sense of what i was making and dollars ain’t one of them
don’t put me next to those rocks naz noc a different gem
had times where i thought my life was in shambles
I tried to gamble for a better time
shits more than i could handle
i gotta write my trauma on these lines
in tune to take the mantle
a different angle
and it’ll slip u out ya feet like u wearing sandals
my nigga
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18. |
peaceful mournings
01:36
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when I pull up to the scene
i got em stuck like mousetraps
can’t trust a soul
these niggas squealing they house rats
they gon hit me up then knock me down
I’m gon bounce back
and hit they red Apples with black macs
dump of all they bodies in the dirt
and go stack these green racks
and i can do it all I can vouch that
I ain’t gotta hate or gotta love
but trust I’m flying like a dove
and letting all these niggas fall till they go splat.
I ain’t here to argue or to fuss
but getting bread yeah that’s a must
and if I wanna get up out that sack im gon bust
the only way to get my love is through trust
and mess it up and at a snap of a finger
you turn to dust.
i just wanna make sure that I provide for my family
cuz making sure they happy is the meaning of a man to me.
I plan to be ahead of every man that lil bro’d me
and I ain’t gon finish till the reaper get ahold of me nigga.
my momma named me amadeus for a reason
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19. |
azande (amadeus)
02:41
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azande
bound to blow up like it’s pompeii
what i say
hope my uncle listening when i pray
my way
gonna get this green like im tommy
highly recommended put me on ya airwaves
till the grave ima stay true to my niggas
cuz ain’t nobody there once u count up ya figures
im kinda fed up
finger itching on the trigger
when i shoot im aiming at the crown
dome splitter
too clear to blemish
dropping gifts but this ain’t christmas
niggas praying that i see white
but ima different chemist
mind ya bidness
free my brothas in the prison
fist up
ima blow this whole shit down till they put me in handcuffs
& any nigga talking shit is gonna get his ass snuffed
I’ll call ya bluff
that shit ain’t working for u nigga that’s enough
find another passion instead of the one u chose thats rapping
too many niggas in this world
tryna steal to make it happen
blame the captain
they sposed to lead yo ass to the motherland
a bitten left hand won’t ever feed u from the right
& them same niggas that’ll stab yo back outta spite
cant drag me cuz i ain’t coming down without a fight
I done faced the grief pressured with the eyes of diamonds
i am
amadeus
i done climb up higher than the tallest mountains
but i am
stuck in places
where im drowning in the vessel where my heart is pounding
i am
outta patience
& im tryna see it thru but my vision blinding
i am becoming faithless
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||||
NAZARETH NOCTURNE Houston, Texas
the one-five
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